__________`` it has been a long time; * from past till now. ______* * " ________*`` ____

Friday, September 22, 2006

my wish: go back to the past. i missed the good old days in amkss.

things were so much simpler in amk. study in a warm and cosy environment. surrounded by friends who truly care about u. study together, learn together, play together, go home together. the 4/1 spirit. i missed it. although there are different groups of ppl, ain t it just warm to see that we can come together and enjoy each other s company. its just like one whole big interlinked family. just so simple and happy. all warm memories come back so easily to u that u simply wish that u can just go back there to the life that u have had for the past 4 years. how i wish that the second hand could go anticlockwise, back to the past where life is just so fulfilling.

jc is much more complicated. i like my 1st 3 months class. love aj choir(its another big warm family). but some of the people whom i spend most of the time with were not exactly the type of ppl that i will like to be with. perhaps i am just not used to them. but sometimes, its hard to ignore some ppl cos it really can get on ur nerves. when u choose to be with a group of ppl, u have to decide whether u are comfortable with them. if u aren t, its just difficult to make time pass. it make life unenjoyable and dry.some things that are done are not exactly things that i will agree with and sometimes, i totally abhor it. this is when u will see. why i prefer to isolate myself nowadays. to get away from all the ppl and noise to find a silent peaceful time on my own with some company. u can say i m twins with my dear or whatsoever i don t really care. i have my choice. i know myself the best. i can t just stand it to be there and putting on a facade and pretend that i can accept all the things that are said about some other ppl. when conflict happens, i don t wanna take sides. its tiring. all the underlying currents that lie below a talented lot who appears to be very united. its so fake sometimes that i m too tired. artificial. ppl who knows what i m saying abt will understand it. just wanna do what i think is right for me even though some will disagree. i know what i am doing. if i see anything that doesn t seem to agree with me, don t worry. i will just shoot cos i m too tired to sneak behind ppl s back and push a knife in. its just irritating sometimes that whatever u do is behind the scenes. i understand that its gd to tolerate and make the mountain into a molehill and eventually disappear. but whatever it is, i m keeping out. whenever i need to, i will just say my piece.

and oh ya, by the way, if u are not happy with ur surroundings, why ever did u choose to come back to this same old surroundings again after the 3 months that u have been there? if u think its not a good environment u strive in, please just go somewhere else k? nobody s begging u to stay u know. to be downgraded from some high standard place to a low class place where we are all in now. its ur choice man. perhaps u should go africa and see what the schools that they have there and u will know how fortunate u ever can be here. just be happy with ur lot and u will see how lucky u r.

and exams are coming. just a little reminder for those ppl who may accidentally forgot that u are actually having ur promos in a little more than a week. lessons are going to be shorter and if not for ur sake, please for the sake of other ppl, i just think its time to pay attention and stop distracting the ppl who really need to listen to the teachers, some of whom have been desperately trying to get our attention in class.

just needed to get these things out of my system. just so glad to have the other friends with me. the choir ppl, my amkss friends. ppl who understand me well. thanks a lot. u ppl really make my life!!

leaving traces behind
9/22/2006 10:43:00 PM